Fast Day 32: meltdown….

Wed 4th Sept 2013

Break – 48c

  • 150g strawberries = 48c

                   

Lunch – 182c

  • Woolworths Skinny Soup 300g pot- Tomato, lentil and bacon = 182c

Dinner – chicken and broccoli stirfry – total 268c

  • teaS olive oil = 40c
  • 196g chicken = 215c
  • 40g broccoli = 13c

Fast Day 32 total = 498c

9am:

Laziness last night- was supposed to make some veggie fritters but I got in late from seeing a friend (and my bus being 15 mins late!), so by the time I arrived home I just couldn’t be bothered to cook or plan very much for today’s fast day!  Luckily I had one last soup in the fridge, and took a chicken breast from the freezer.  Will be stir-frying it with a bit of broccoli, and either fajita spice or Cajun spice.  Should be tasty and filling because of the protein.

Also, am doing boot camp with the boyfriend after work- think squats, lunges, crunches, burpees etc with 200m runs as the “break”!- so protein will prob be good for my aching muscles!  It’ll definitely taste more satisfying than just veg by itself I think.

 

Thurs 5 Sept 2013.

 

Ok, so I had a bit of a meltdown last night.  Felt v hungry during the afternoon, whether emotional hunger or actual I couldn’t say.  My legs were tired n achey from riding lesson Monday.

 

Was supposed to be doing boot camp with the boyfriend when I got in- it had even been my idea in fact.  Instead what happened was that by the time I got home I didn’t want to go, and then felt bad and guilty about not wanting to go, and worked myself to the verge of tears about it as I was umming and ahhing about whether I should go or not.  Meanwhile, daylight was slipping away.  In the end, the boyfriend had to go without me as I felt on the verge of hyperventilating and it’d soon be too dark.  After 5 minutes or so I’d calmed down, I thought I might pop to the park to join him, but then was worried it’d annoy him further by disrupting his work out again, so I hid under the duvet. All evening.  If the boyfriend hadn’t decided he was going to cook my dinner for me I don’t think I’d have even bothered to have any dinner at all.

 

I hate when I do this.  If I’d have just gone, we’d have done the exercise in 45 minutes and then I would have had a nice evening, and felt good about myself.  Instead, I felt like sh*t.  I want to lose weight and tone up, but I can’t stop eating and have to force myself to exercise because I don’t particularly enjoy it- therein lies the problem.  I wonder if I’m ever going to have the body that I want, if I don’t have it yet at almost 30 am I ever going to be happy with it- will I ever have any body confidence?  Ugh, what a waste of time, hating on yourself your entire life because of a few rogue pounds.  Esp cos I know that when I am old and look back at photos I’m going to see that I am actually slim, and I’m going to kick myself for being such an idiot and wasting my youth worrying about being “fat” when my sane brain knows that I’m not.

 

And then I weighed myself this morning and it said 9 stone 2lb.  Since my last posted weigh in I had put on some more weight, but it appears to have come off again now.  Although I feel pretty blobby still, so it doesn’t feel like I’ve lost anything.  Just feels like a random number on the scales at this point- it hurts my brain! :-S

 

 

  • Start Weight:  9 stone 8lb
  • Goal Weight:  8 stone 6-9lb
  • Weight last weigh in:  9 stone 3 lb
  • Weight this week:  9 stone 2 lb
  • Weight loss = 1 lb
  • Weight GAIN = 0lb
  • Weight loss total = 6 lb
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