Wed 2nd Oct 2013
When I got home from work:
- 1 x toast with butter
- end heel of garlic and onion sour dough
Dinner- Thai curry
- Veggie Thai yellow curry with a few spoonfuls of brown rice
- slice spiced apple cake with some salted caramel sauce (Nigella’s recipe!)
- 1 glass of red wine.
Ok, this is my first “Fast” day whilst my friend is here. It’ll be a bit makeshift as I don’t think I will be weighing out everything n working out the evening meal’s calories. It also potentially involves having no food until dinner…. this is something the book says is perfectly fine, and is a way that some people always do their fast days- basically eat nothing during the day and then have a fairly normal dinner. I am doing this today because it’s kind of the only way I can fit a fast in whilst my friend is here- it won’t affect anyone but me as I am back at work today and won’t see her until the evening, where we would have a normal dinner. Minus the wine, for me at least. But I am not sure I can go a whole day without food until dinner, so I brought the veg, which I will have if I am completely.
Also, I am a bit concerned that secretly not eating until dinner is rather in the realm of eating disorder central, so I am not sure I want to go the whole day without food. I say secret, because although I am putting it on the blog, I am not telling the boyfriend, or my friend, or my work mates that I am having no food until dinner….. The boyfriend would flip out if he even knew I’d had no breakfast this morning, let alone nothing at all until 7pmish! As I’ve been doing the blog a while now he prob won’t be reading this post, so I feel safe telling y’all. So yeah, I am thinking not eating, and hiding this fact from everyone, is not really healthy… it’s pretty much what peeps with eating disorders do right? The whole “oh I ate at school/work” type thing…. so that’s partly why I brought the veg in. But we shall see- it won’t really do me any harm doing this for 2 days this week, and as I say, lots of people do their Fast days like this anyway, so I will try it if I can and see how I cope. It’s certainly not something I will regularly be doing, just whilst my friend is here! She’s only been here a few days and I already feel super bloated, so I definitely need some kind of fasting to keep me in check!!!
Having a lunch break without actually eating any lunch was a bit weird. Kept expecting the boss to come up n tell me off for online shopping (new backpack) instead of working, due to the lack of food/plates/lunch paraphernalia, and me having to go “but I am on my lunchbreak, really I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Luckily, this situation did not occur though- phew.
Bit peckish, but that could be because my colleague is talking about pizza. Will embrace the hollow feeling! Think it’s mostly psychological rather than physiological though, cos my tum isn’t really gurgling for food- i just want food. Want and need = two very different things. Which is what I always try and tell myself with purchases too! 😛
Yeah, so, can you fail a fast day that’s not a proper fast day? Was never going to be a proper Fast day with my mate here, so just planned to do the best I could. Well, had a nightmare journey on way home and when I got in aI demolished a slice of toast and the end crust of a loaf of tasty sourdough- oophs. Then I had rice with dinner when I told myself I wasn’t going to, had some cake, and then a glass of red. So as far as Fast Day’s go was a bit of a disaster I suppose, but how bad should I really feel about it when it was only supposed to be a makeshift fast day anyway? Am gonna try n not beat myself up about it.